I had a different kind of Holy Week.
I entered into my own private passion along with Jesus.
I intended to blog through the Triduum. Instead, I spent the whole week so sick with fever and chills I could barely make it from the couch to the bed.
This was the first time I’d missed the Triduum Masses in 12 years.
I had a lot of time to reflect on Jesus and what he must have gone through during those days.
I once read a mystic’s account that said Jesus developed a fever after being beaten by guards and then scourged. I could imagine how his body must have burned and ached.
And here I was burning and aching in the same way, however, I had a comfortable couch to lay on and blankets to keep the chill away. All he had was cold stone, bound hands, and later a crown of thorns…more pain, more public mockery, and no comfort.
All I could do was rest. Any effort was agony. I thought of how much Jesus must have longed for rest. And none came. He was just pushed on to more activity, more torture, and harder and harder trials.
And then, on Saturday it began to let up. By Easter Sunday I was pretty much well again. And today, I experienced, in a sense, my own resurrection from the dead as I woke up to complete health again. I feel resurrected.
Health is something you just take for granted until it’s not there. From moment to moment you’re not conscious of being without pain. But when you come out of sickness, you’re suddenly aware of every minute of health.
Can you even fathom the beauty of what Jesus must have felt in his glorified body on Easter morning? After hour upon hour of effort and toil in the most excruciating anguish, it must have felt like…heaven. No cuts, no broken bones, no pain.
But not only that–power! The power of the Holy Spirit coursing through every molecule of his body. It wasn’t just his old body raised up again like he had done with Lazarus. It was a completely new, completely different kind of body…a spiritualized, divinized body. He could walk through walls, he could be in two places at once, yet he could eat, be touched, and be really present to his friends.
The resurrection is such an amazing thing. It is the cornerstone of our faith. In fact, if Jesus wasn’t resurrected there would be no faith St. Paul tells us. But we take it for granted, like health.
Take some time to reflect on the resurrection this week. Allow yourself to be filled up by the thought of it. We can all be resurrected from the sickness that keeps us lying on the couch of our sin. Unable to move. Unable to feel without pain.
The life that courses through Christ’s body now can course through yours. It can bring your soul back to life. I hope it does that for mine. I want to feel as good in my soul as I do in my body today.
Can you remember a time when you were really sick and then got well? How did it feel to be resurrected? Think about that as you pray today during this Octave of Easter.
Photo Credit: Nastassia Davis [www.nastassiadavis.com] via Compfight cc
This happens a lot to me, I am a brittle type 1 diabetic. If my sugar is too high I get sick to my stomach two ways. If my sugar is too low, I am unthinking & usually become unaware of my surroundings. I don’t like either extreme, because I have tendency to be a jerk at either end of the spectrum. I believe before I developed diabetes I was fairly unaware of how sick/chronically sick people were around me. Being chronically sick myself has opened up my eyes to the silent suffering that happens around me. I have someone in my life that suffers from depression & that seems to be more of a struggle than keeping my diet balanced while injecting insulin twice a day.
Every time I come out of a low sugar episode I am reminded that Jesus suffered & died for me. It also reminds me that I am blessed to suffer only a little here. Additionally my thoughts turn to, that I don’t deserve the blessings in my life, that each & everyone of those blessings are a gift from God. It makes me more willing to work at life to make things more balanced & makes me more forgiving of those that I interact with because I don’t know what they are suffering under.
Hopefully this encourages someone to forgive & look beyond the veil that most of us present.
Thanks for this response. I can definitely see how chronic illness makes you much more aware of illness and suffering around you. This makes me think about all those little encounters you have with people that don’t go well. Someone is a little rude to you or doesn’t smile back at you. How do you know what’s going on inside? How do you know what they’re going through? They might be in quite a lot of pain or not completely in control of their emotions. We should all think before we judge. Thanks for this reminder to look beyond the outside face that’s presented to have compassion and mercy for everyone.
Sorry to learn of your illness but grateful for your attitude and heart to learn of God’s direction in the midst. One could argue that Jesus is most present to us in suffering not in the high liturgical moments. I do argue that on the heels of some horrid Triduum/Easter news. God bless you Marc, as you continue on the mend.
Great meditation on Christ’s resurrection, Marc! I too missed the Triduum Masses. I was not feeling well physically, but adding overwhelming anxiety to the physical discomfort was too much for me to overcome. Even Easter Sunday I “felt” no joy at the Easter Alleluia’s, but I did choose with my will to rejoice. I have never considered how Christ felt physically being resurrected, and that will be an interesting future meditation. Thank you so much for sharing it!
Thanks Amanda. Great to hear from you! Sorry to hear of your suffering over Easter. Sometimes we just don’t feel it do we. Your heart was in the right place though. Hope you get a lot of fruit from the meditation of Christ’s resurrection. I often think of his suffering when I’m feeling awful and wonder how he could endure so much. I like to think about how awesome he must have felt after his resurrection too. He probably had the worst suffering of a human being ever, and probably felt the most awesome that any human being ever has, don’t you think?