This is a guest post by my wife, Shannon Cardaronella. She is a writer and connoisseur of great children’s literature, an avid reader, an accomplished teacher of English as a Second Language, and an extraordinary mom. Oh, and…as you’ll soon find out, has quite a fascination with shoes.
I can’t tell you how often friends express to me their embarrassment over not being able to receive Communion, over going up for a blessing when the rest of us go up for Communion.
I tell them the truth. More often than not, I don’t notice who is receiving Communion and who is getting a blessing.
Seriously. Mostly, I’m praying or otherwise lost in thought, not “seeing” anything before me, and that’s when my eyes are open.
When my mind comes back to the present and I do notice people in the Communion line, I generally notice one of two things: babies or children and (I am ashamed to admit it) shoes.
Yes, really. A Communion line is a parade of footwear when one comes back from deep prayer while one’s head is still bowed.
I spotted the most exquisite pair of dark green (I’m going to go with “Spinach”) leather boots weeks ago. Now, the memory of those jade jewels is an occasion of sin. I have to keep my eyes firmly shut, so as not to search for them again.
Every week, I peek.
So, that’s pretty much it. If I notice you at all, much less whether you are receiving Communion or a blessing, well you have to get past my prayers, thoughts, babies, and snazzy shoes. More often than not, you don’t make the cut.
When I do get past all of the above to notice someone and have it register that he/she is receiving a blessing, I see humility and pure love. It humbles and enriches me.
Those who do not receive Communion, honor God by desiring Him so much, they go up for His blessing while the rest of us receive Him in His Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity.
I see people who remind me of children calling their grandparents because they just want to talk with them, not to curry favor or a check in the mail. I see people who remind me of the co-worker who bakes brownies for the office just to be nice, never expecting anything in return. Or, the neighbor who once washed my sheets for me in college when I was ill, for no other reason than to be kind.
It humbles me to see my brothers and sisters in Christ receive a blessing from Him when He gives me His very Self. We are none of us worthy. And, we are certainly none of us loved more or less than another.
To those of you receiving blessings, Thank you for your witness. Thank you for your humility. Thank you for reminding me to desire Communion with Jesus, my Lord and Savior, in whatever form that may take throughout the week.
Now, if you really want to catch my attention at Mass, you know the secret. Walk through the Communion Line carrying a baby and wearing those divine boots!
What’s your experience with this? Are you humbled by those going up for communion blessings? Or, do you notice shoes? Tell us about your favorites in the comments.
Also, do us a favor. If you have a friend who’s not able to receive communion and is embarrassed by going up for a blessing, would you share this post with them and help them feel at ease?
Photo Credit: CRASH:candy via Compfight cc
I really appreciate your post. It always saddens me when I hear others ask about someone’s posture during communion. It says more about them during communion time than the person they are questioning!
Actually the practice of receiving a ‘blessing’ during communion is relatively new. As a forty-something here in the south, I never remember going up in the line until I made my First Communion. The invitation to receive a ‘blessing’ began with the attempt of some to make non-catholics feel welcome and included, especially during masses like weddings or funerals when larger numbers of non-catholics or fallen away catholics might be attending. It is actually misplaced in the mass and not exactly accurate, since none of the Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion can give blessings during the mass. Only the Ordinary, priests and deacons, have it in their Office to do so. We ALL receive a blessing at the end of mass during the dismissal rite which is the appropriate time for it.
(Confession-I notice the shoes too.)
I didn’t know that the blessing was introduced to make non-Catholics at weddings and funerals feel welcome. I think it’s a nice gesture though. I agree, I grew up in the South too and I’d never heard of it before about 10 years ago…and in Ohio. At our parish, only priests and deacons actually give blessings precisely for the reason you state.
Oh, no, you caught me! I do the same… So I shared it on FB.
Love the article, thank you!
Thanks Tina! And thanks for sharing.
I’m so glad to know that someone else has this problem with shoes! I’m not really a shoe person, but somehow it’s so hard to ignore them in the Communion line. I think they used to call it “custody of the eyes” when we were admonished to look away from those occasions of sin and distraction. But what do you do when looking away puts you right in the middle of the distraction? Pray for strength to dismiss the devil.
Obviously, I am so caught up in my own struggles to focus on the great Gift I will be receiving and my own unworthiness that I don’t really pay attention to whether anyone else is also receiving Communion or a blessing.
The practice of receiving a blessing is really less embarrassing for those not able to receive the sacrament since they aren’t left in the pew for all those who do receive to crawl over as they come back.I do know it is an occasion of grace for them.
I have a friend who was away from the Church for several years and waiting for an annulment so that she could return to full communion. She went for the blessing every time and was very disturbed when she attended Mass on vacation where she had to explain to the priest why she wouldn’t take the host and request his blessing. She told me that one of the many joys she experienced when she was finally able to receive Communion was that she never had to ask for a blessing instead of the “real thing”.
Hey Catherine! Sounds like we’ve uncovered the secret communion distraction of every woman. This shoe thing is really a problem.
It’s interesting that receiving a blessing is better than being left in the pew. I never thought of it that way. Still, it’s obviously a hardship and a constant reminder of your status outside full communion with the Church. I’m sure it was great for your friend to finally be able to receive the “real thing,” in more ways than one.
At our last parish, blessings were encouraged. The first four years of my son’s life, he received some sort of gesture when we went up for Communion. Then we moved (far, far away). The second week at a new church, and as we begin heading back to our pew, he loudly exclaimed “HEY! HE FORGOT MY BLESSING!” The next week, he stood firmly in place and stared the priest down – no blessing, even after I picked him up and carried him off.
So after a few weeks of this, we tried a new church- and there was a blessing! He straightened up nice and tall, with a huge smile. It brought tears to my eyes. Someone welcomed him in the name of Jesus. Interestingly enough, his behavior is (slightly) better at the parishes who bless him during Communion.
That is a great story. My boys both went up for blessings for all the years before their First Communions. I think it’s a very good practice. In fact, they’ve been getting blessings since they were infants. Interesting that his behavior is better when he gets the blessings. The power of the Spirit at work!
Recieving a blessing or even staying in the pew – this is so good that you addressed it! I know others have felt embarrassed and that “everone was looking at me” when they were not able to recieve Communion. In fact, there are no few people left in the pew on a Sunday morning, and crawling over them is an act of humility for both of us! I can’t say that I ever thought about why someone remained sitting or didn’t recieve Communion.
There have been times that I couldn’t recieve becasue I had not kept the fast before Mass. Such disappointment! To be so close and yet so far.
And Marc, be careful with your generalizations – can’t say I was ever distracted by shoes! (They may be about the only thing that hasn’t distracted me!) :0) I have tried to practice “custody of the eyes” that Catherine mentions and just keep them closed because I can be so easily distracted.
Oh yeah, I will have to be careful with my generalizations! Thanks for calling me out and keeping me honest. I can sympathize with feeling out of place and wondering what people think about getting the blessing. Like you, there’s been times when I’ve missed the fast and taken the blessing instead. You do feel a little out of place and awkward. At the same time, it’s a pretty accepted practice now and people do it all the time so it’s not completely out of the ordinary. I get distracted too (Marc speaking). Closing your eyes is the best thing I think. I try to concentrate on having time alone with Jesus because he’s there so intimately in my heart. Although, sometimes I do watch people. I don’t notice shoes either though. 😉
Love this! I can just hear Shannon’s voice saying this, and I completely agree about the shoes here.
Interestingly, our family was at an Episcopal wedding some years back, and they offered communion to all Christians, but also a blessing (arms crossed) for those who wished. It was really humbling to receive the blessing, and I had more compassion for those who, for whatever reason, receive a communion blessing.
That’s interesting about the Episcopal church doing blessings too. Perhaps for people like you that didn’t want to partake in their communion? Protestants aren’t usually fussy about communion in other churches. Worked out well for you though didn’t it? Yeah, it does sort of feel like you’re set apart. I understand the uneasiness that can come from that. Thanks for commenting.
This Sunday during communion, after returning to my pew, and praying, somewhat, I noticed one of the parish secretaries had the cutest brown shoes . . . considered briefly whether I might like a pair . . . pulled self back into attempt at prayer . . . and a few moments later, spied the same shoes on another lady in black! My color!
Definitely I’m in the shoes-n-babies camp. I try not to stare at the babies, though I do, because they’re SO adorable, and then I try to sort of act like I’m praying or something . . . and sometimes manage to pray.
Oh distractions! It really is difficult to stay totally focused and undistracted after communion isn’t it? I’m done in more by the general people watching but there’s definitely a shoes-n-babies trend emerging. Thanks for commenting.