You need a spiritual director.
Actually, I need a spiritual director too.
The question is, can you find one?
The necessity of spiritual direction
Spiritual direction is a great thing for growth in the spiritual life.
You might even say it’s a necessary thing. It’s difficult to go it alone spiritually.
Going deeper spiritually without a director is kind of like trimming your own hair in the mirror. Have you ever done that? It’s difficult to get a true picture of yourself. You can’t figure out which way to move the scissors. You can’t see the side of your head. The whole thing ends up a mess.
Once, when I was in the Navy, I was scheduled to be the watch officer but I forgot to get a haircut. The watch officer needs to be sharp. You can’t be sharp with long hair in the Navy. I tried to trim it myself but kept messing up. Trying to correct the mistakes only made it worse. In the end, I had huge whitewalls on the side of my head. Not a pretty sight. 😉
Pope Benedict recommends spiritual direction
Recently, Pope Benedict recommended that everyone (not only priests but lay people and especially youth) “have recourse” to spiritual direction. It was in the context of talking about Symeon the New Theologian and his emphasis on having this kind of guide.
To go towards the Lord we always need a guide, a dialogue. We cannot do it with our thoughts alone.
This is all well and good, and I agree. The problem is the average person can not find a spiritual director. There just aren’t that many around.
You can go to a parish priest but have you seen their schedules? I work around priests and I can tell you they are booked!
In large cities there are monasteries, convents and spiritual centers spiritual direction is available. I don’t live in a large city. Parish priests, and a few nuns, are the only clergy around.
And, to be honest, the average parish priest isn’t really trained for spiritual direction. They’re not really sure what to do.
A pastoral problem yet to be solved
It seems to me that spiritual direction is one of those things that hasn’t quite caught up to the increased emphasis on lay holiness.
In the larger history of the Church, the pursuit of holiness took place behind the monastery and convent walls. Mostly monks and nuns got spiritual direction–only a few lay persons and usually they were wealthy.
It’s very different now. Vatican II renewed the idea of the universal call to holiness. Pope John Paul II began a revolution in spiritual growth for the entire Church.
Every year more lay people awaken to the wonder and excitement of the Catholic Faith. The first thing they’re told is they need a spiritual director. Good luck with that one.
Spiritual direction for the laity is still not a serious pastoral priority–but it needs to be. Somehow we need more spiritual directors for the laity. Perhaps more priests could be trained but it would need to be a serious part of their duties as a priest. Not just one among too many.
Whatever the case, I think we desperately need more spiritual direction in the Church today.
It’s your turn to talk to me!
- What do you think? Am I wrong?
- Do you have a spiritual director? Do you want one?
- Have you been able to find a spiritual director?
- The comments are open!
Marc,
We have a group in our area called “Schools of Faith” – they do a lot of lay faith formation in Catholic Schools and parishes. They are beginning a spiritual mentorship program with the Apostles of the Interior Life. Check it out: http://www.schooloffaith.com/curriculum/Spiritual_Mentorship.asp
I think this is in part an answer to what you are talking about.
I am familiar with Schools of Faith. In fact, one of the Apostles of the Interior Life was my spiritual director when they were here at the University of Illinois. She was the best director I ever had.
The Apostles are truly a gift to the Church and their charism really, really needs to be copied because they are doing exactly what needs to be done, providing good spiritual direction to the laity. They are all well educated in spiritual theology or direction from apostolic universities in Rome, are very orthodox and extremely dedicated to the Church and their work. I wish they were still here!
You are blessed to have them there William!
You are exactly right. I have really struggled with the fact that while spiritual direction is crucial for the Christian life (thank you Teresa of Avila for hitting me over the head repeatedly with that one!) it is really only available for the elite. Since I am not entering religious life or other distinct service to the Church, I am (as I should be!) rather low on the priority list. And that makes it very, very difficult to seek out. I once had a spiritual director, but he was “on loan” from a different diocese, and a month later his bishop called him back.
And I want to highlight your point about many (most?) parish priests not being trained or otherwise equipped for spiritual direction. In my experience this is so incredibly true. One of the great ironies of my life is that now that I have finally moved to a place where I live near monasteries and centers for spiritual direction I actually have a pastor who is not only an amazing confessor, but actually invites people (via the parish website) to call for appointments for spiritual direction! I have read a lot of parish websites and bulletins and never seen that before. So now I am back to the point where it is really my issue of “is it really worth it to take time from my incredibly busy pastor?” which I guess means I need to go back to reading Teresa of Avila.
I wonder whether you could receive spiritual direction via Skype and then go to a parish priest just for actual confession?
Wow! That is a rarity–a pastor who’s an amazing confessor and invites people for spiritual direction. I think would be running to make an appointment. Of course, you’re right, there is that completely busy and totally overworked thing. 😉
I think it would be great to have spiritual direction over Skype. You’d probably need to have the face-to-face, one-on-one time periodically too though. It’s just not the same on the phone.
Thanks for the comments Rae! I always love it when you do!
Rae, I understand this struggle and have experienced it myself in not wanting to burden a priest who is already so busy. But we have to fight this and realize that our soul is also very precious and worthy of the encouragement and direction it needs to grow as God wishes it to. Not always do we have the opportunity for a good director, but when you do, don’t let guilt hold you back. Go and request spiritual direction from your “incredibly busy pastor” and let him make the decsion about whether he has time. Yes, YOU are worth it! More so, God is worth it because as we grow in our prayer, we become ever more beautiful gifts to God and ever more able to serve Him and others. It is not selfish, although it can feel selfish at times.
Well said Amanda. You make some very good points. Especially that it’s not selfish to ask for direction because we make our souls more beautiful to God and we become better able to serve him.
Thanks for the comments Tina.
I could see how you would need to have a religious do your spiritual direction if you’re discerning a vocation. You’re actually much more likely to get a director because you’re discerning, which I guess is a good thing. The one that that might work in your favor is going to a diocesan discernment retreat. You might get a long distance director from that.
I sure hope you do get some help with the discernment though.
Great to hear from you Mike! Thanks for the inter-church perspective!
I think you are absolutely right about recovering spiritual formation and direction as the heart of parish life and purpose. This is the most important thing we could do as disciples of Christ.
I was just talking about that this morning. I was thinking about how the apostles said it was foolish for them to waste their time waiting on tables when they needed to be out preaching. There are so many things that only priests can and should be doing but instead they are busied with the administrative tasks of the parish. Of course, they should be in charge of the parish operation just as the apostles were in charge of the Church. However, they delegated a lot off their plates to get to the real work of spreading the gospel.
The pastor should be able to pass off some duites so he could spend more time in spiritual direction. Or, at the least, doing spiritual direction for his ministry leaders so they can grow spiritually and pass it on.
That’s great that you’re able to do so much direction. I’m sure it’s rewarding!
YES. I almost always agree with you anyway, but now I **really** agree. I have thought about this reality from a slightly different angle, but I think it all plays out the same: I think the main challenge in lay ministry is to minister to people at different “levels of moral development” (even though that term makes me cringe, I think you know what I mean). We want to gear our ministry to people who are “ready” for spiritual direction, but the reality is there are lots of folks in our communities who aren’t interested in that yet, or ever. The outcome has been that we end up making our “Total Community Catechesis” about teaching the fundamentals to people who didn’t catch it the first time around and abandoning the rich fields of formation, the cultivation of which might encourage many Catholics to do more than be instructed catechetically.
As usual, Rae put it better than I could about the capital-P Pastoral element of direction. I imagine most parish priests *are* suited for spiritual direction, but they have, shall we say, a few other things on their plates.
Thank you! I think you are absolutely right! I’ve thought about idea of ministering on different levels as well for a while now! There are those that are at the beginning stages and can only handle the basics. But we don’t want them to stay there. If we keep treating everyone like beginners then they will stay that way.
Then, there are those that want more. They are fewer in number but, they have the potential to do so much more! They’re on fire and will soak up the higher level stuff. And, they are the ones that will produce more fruit! If we could have advanced training for them then we could multiply the ministry.
That’s why spiritual direction is so important for the future growth of lay holiness and the Church. Right now, we’re not set up to be able to provide that advanced training. When people advance beyond the basics, we set them off to fend for themselves. But really, they still need a lot of help and mentoring before they’re ready to be self sufficient in the spiritual life and in ministry. We’re missing a great opportunity for growth and increasing the laborers for the harvest.
Excellent commentary. Shortage of spiritual directors is not a new problem. At the moment, I’m looking for one myself. But in the meantime, there are excellent spiritual classics that folks can read and pray with. ..works from the Carmelite masters like St. John of the Cross, Teresa of Avila or Therese of Lisieux. Or others such as Introduction to the Devout Life from St. Francis de Sales, or the Spiritual Exercises by St. Ignatius, to name a few. And various consecrations — like “to Jesus thru Mary” via St. Louis de Montfont, found in “True Devotion to Mary” — that can be recommended.
You make an excellent point! Perhaps not everyone has access to spiritual direction, but there’s a wealth of good information from the Saints and spiritual masters like the ones you mentioned. These are all gems and will help anyone in need of more instruction on the spiritual life.
Thanks for the insights and contribution!
I –totally agree with you, Marc. The number of comments suggest that you have raised a very important issue. You are right. The problem is finding trained spiritual directors. The answer is still to be found.
Thanks for the comment Sr. Susan. I think it’s one of those things the Church will struggle with for a while but eventually it will get solved. We just can’t see the final solution from here.
Here is something I don’t know. Do you pay a person to be your spiritual director? Is that expected? Allowed? Forbidden? Suggested?
You definitely shouldn’t have to pay for spiritual direction. I’ve never seen that. Usually it’s just offered.
Maybe there should be a way to pay spiritual directors, that way we could have more. Although, then you probably couldn’t afford it. 😉
It sort of seems like paying for indulgences if you have to pay for someone to help you grow in your faith. But I don’t really know.
I could be wrong on this but from what I’ve heard from priests I’ve known, I don’t think they’re specifically trained in spiritual direction. It probably varies though. Some seminaries might expose the students to some.
There is an excellent program of spiritual direction based in Ignatian spirituality called the Institute for Priestly Formation (IPF) at Creighton University. Many diocese send a select number of their seminarians there but not all.
In some places, the Permanent Diaconate could be a source for spiritual direction. I’ve heard there are some in my diocese that are getting specific training. I don’t think it’s an integral part of a deacon’s training in my diocese though.
My guess is that because many priests have had spiritual direction themselves and they understand the basics of it. So, they could handle mentoring average parishioners in deepening their spiritual lives. And, for many that would be enough. However, part of the problem is that most priests don’t have the time to take on many people. Certainly not as many as want or need it. That’s what I’ve seen.
If you find a priest likes doing it and is willing to take you on, I would look into it. It definitely a big help in your spiritual growth to get an outside perspective and to have some accountability for practicing spiritual disciplines, which is really the key to growth.
When I was 20 and with l’Arche in Washington DC, an episcopal priest turned me away from spiritual direction, saying to me that I already had one of the best spiritual directors, Jean Vanier. And now as a member of Communion and Liberation, I benefit a great deal from our annual spiritual exercises, lent retreat, advent retreat, and weekly School of Community.
When I was at Fordham, I received spiritual direction from a retired Jesuit, who told me that the rule for spiritual direction is: “Without cost you have received; without cost you are to give.” Being at Fordham put me close to men who had been formed in the Jesuit charism. This is a great gift of orders and movements: wherever they are their spiritual formation does not remain within the members but reaches many who are near them…
I’m jealous of your many opportunities for great direction Fred! I agree, whenever spiritual formation can move out beyond the clergy, order or movement into unexpected places so as to touch people’s lives, it is a great gift to the Church.
Thanks for the comments!
Marc
Spiritual direction is easily available here in Champaign, IL. You have two excellent groups. Opus Dei meets once a month on the 2nd Thurs of the month. Communion and Liberation is a younger group and very active under Fr Co meeting weekly for dinners followed by studies of various spiritual exercises. The commonality in both groups is a significant lay leadership presence. There is now talk of starting Foculare in the area.
Well actually, that wasn’t exactly the kind of spiritual direction I was talking about. I was thinking more one on one kind of stuff. I’ve tried to get spiritual direction from the Opus Dei priest and it didn’t work out. The Communion and Liberation group is a totally different thing…more like a discussion group. Still, perhaps I could try again.
Thanks Paul.
I am a member of Opus Dei living in Champaign and have lived in many other locations near centers of Opus Dei. Not only do the priests but some of their laity provide spiritual direction. The priests and dedicated single (numerary) and a growing number of married members have training in spiritual direction. If you live near a center or can get to one (some drive or fly for this) spiritual direction, called the chat, can be transforming.
Hi Chuck, thanks for the info. I don’t live in Champaign anymore. I always felt a little shy going to the Opus Dei gatherings but maybe I should just get over it. There are some opportunities where I live now as well.