{"id":5538,"date":"2015-11-19T11:09:54","date_gmt":"2015-11-19T17:09:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/marccardaronella.com\/?p=5538"},"modified":"2020-09-10T15:44:25","modified_gmt":"2020-09-10T21:44:25","slug":"lead-kids-back-to-church","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marccardaronella.com\/blog\/2015\/11\/19\/lead-kids-back-to-church\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Lead Your Kids Back to the Church"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/marccardaronella.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/return.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-5541\" src=\"http:\/\/marccardaronella.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/return.jpg\" alt=\"return\" width=\"700\" height=\"366\" srcset=\"https:\/\/marccardaronella.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/return.jpg 700w, https:\/\/marccardaronella.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/return-300x157.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;How do I get my kids to come back to the Church&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s the question I got again and again when I became a\u00a0parish DRE.<\/p>\n<p>News traveled fast that I came back to the Catholic Faith after abandoning it for 20 years. Older folks\u00a0would ask me what changed my mind and what they could do to bring their adult kids back into the Catholic fold.<\/p>\n<p>I would tell them what worked for me and make some suggestions, mostly prayer&#8230;but I never had a very good answer.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s why I&#8217;m super excited about <a href=\"https:\/\/helpthemreturn.com\/game-plan\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">RETURN<\/a>, a\u00a0new project\u00a0from my friend Brandon Vogt. RETURN is\u00a0a collection of resources to help parents draw their children back to the Church.<\/p>\n<p>RETURN includes:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>16 video lessons with 220 minutes of content.<\/li>\n<li>A paperback book\/companion guide.<\/li>\n<li>10 video interviews with Catholic leaders like Dr. Scott Hahn, Jennifer Fulwiler, Fr. Michael Schmitz&#8211;experts at helping people come back to the Church.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Seed Gifts&#8221;:\u00a012 of the most effective DVDs, books, and CDs to give your fallen-away child.<\/li>\n<li>And access to a private, online community where you can get ideas and share with others in the same situations.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"RETURN: How to Draw Your Child Back to the Church\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/ky-GIV0YJ2E?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h2>Addressing the need<\/h2>\n<p>What I like about RETURN is that it&#8217;s addressing a need that hasn&#8217;t received much attention.<\/p>\n<p>Most people, including me, work on prevention&#8211;how to keep your kids Catholic. But for tons of people, it&#8217;s too late for that. Their kids are already gone!<\/p>\n<p>What do they do? Before RETURN, I didn&#8217;t have an answer. Now I do.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;There are many resources devoted to helping people, in <i>general<\/i>, come back to the Church,&#8221; says Vogt. &#8220;They contain broad tips which can be applied to friends, co-workers, or even people you interact with online.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;However, as we all know, the parent\/child relationship is so distinct from other relationships. There are things a parent can say or do that will have a <i>much<\/i> bigger impact on their child than on a friend or coworker, and on the other hand, there are things parents <i>should<\/i><i>not<\/i> say or do to their child, simply because of their relationship,&#8221; he said.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I thought it was time that parents and grandparents had a resource <i>specifically<\/i> designed for them, one that took into account the delicate, unique bond they have with their child.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/marccardaronella.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/Return-Logo.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-5558\" src=\"http:\/\/marccardaronella.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/Return-Logo-300x85.png\" alt=\"Return-Logo\" width=\"300\" height=\"85\" srcset=\"https:\/\/marccardaronella.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/Return-Logo-300x85.png 300w, https:\/\/marccardaronella.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/Return-Logo-1024x289.png 1024w, https:\/\/marccardaronella.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/Return-Logo.png 1376w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h2>Just be patient, they&#8217;ll come back<\/h2>\n<p>Vogt&#8217;s program tackles the myths about fallen away Catholics head on&#8230;especially the passive approach.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Probably the biggest one [myth] I hear from parents, priests, and Church leaders is, &#8216;Oh, they\u2019ll come back to the Church eventually once they get married or have kids. Let&#8217;s just be patient.&#8217; That may have been true in decades past\u2014though even that is controversial\u2014but studies have affirmed, again and again, that it\u2019s no longer true today,&#8221; Vogt related.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Overall, the &#8216;wait-and-see strategy&#8217; is just a losing game, he\u00a0said. &#8220;Let me pose a thought experiment: what would the CEO of a Fortune 500 company say if he learned that 75% of his customers just stopped buying the company\u2019s products? Would he say, &#8216;Oh, no big deal. Let\u2019s just sit and wait for them to come back. They&#8217;ll probably come back one day, right?'&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No! He\u2019d do everything in his power to track down the former customers, reconnect with them, answer their objections, and re-propose his products in new ways.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;We parents, priests, and Church leaders should have the same reaction. In light of the millions of young people who have left the Church, we can\u2019t respond by saying, &#8216;Let&#8217;s just wait for them to come back.&#8217; We need to say, &#8216;Let\u2019s do everything possible to help them return!'&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I couldn&#8217;t agree more.<\/p>\n<h2>Practical tips<\/h2>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/marccardaronella.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/Brandon-Vogt-2.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-5542\" src=\"http:\/\/marccardaronella.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/Brandon-Vogt-2-300x199.jpg\" alt=\"Brandon-Vogt-2\" width=\"300\" height=\"199\" srcset=\"https:\/\/marccardaronella.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/Brandon-Vogt-2-300x199.jpg 300w, https:\/\/marccardaronella.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/Brandon-Vogt-2.jpg 740w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>I asked Brandon if he could share\u00a0some practical tips from the program.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;After talking with hundreds of parents and young people, I\u2019ve noticed several patterns\u2014some good, some bad\u2014that we can learn from,&#8221; he said.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Do&#8217;s<\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<p>&#8220;Two things to always keep in mind,&#8221; Vogt explained. &#8220;Ask questions and stay positive. Questions are largely neutral, or at least seem that way, and don\u2019t sound &#8216;preachy.&#8217; When you ask a question, you aren\u2019t actually stating your own view. Many times, you\u2019re helping your child see that his beliefs are not as firmly supported as he might think.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Some of Vogt&#8217;s\u00a0favorite questions include:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201cWhat pushed or pulled you away from the Church?\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cWhat\u2019s the one thing that would cause you to come back to the Church?\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cWhat do you think is the best reason to be Catholic and why doesn&#8217;t it compel you?\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&#8220;You also need to stay positive. Don\u2019t focus on all the negative things your child is doing; he\u2019ll just tune you out. A better approach is to affirm the positive. If your child doesn\u2019t attend Mass because he thinks it\u2019s boring and irrelevant, affirm his desire not to be a hypocrite\u2014that\u2019s a good thing. Once you\u2019ve affirmed something positive, he\u2019ll be much more open to hearing what you have to say.&#8221;<\/p>\n<h3>Don&#8217;ts<\/h3>\n<p>&#8220;The biggest mistake I see parents make is trying to force their fallen-away child to Mass. In their mind, f they do that, they\u2019ve succeeded,&#8221; Vogt said.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Now, this stems from good intentions. Most parents know Jesus is present at Mass in a special way, so they want to do everything possible to get their children to show up. The problem is that if someone comes to Mass unwilling and unprepared, it will likely have no effect on him,&#8221; he explained.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You must plant other seeds first so that he\u2019ll actually <i>desire<\/i> to attend Mass. The Mass should be the last piece of the puzzle.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;The second thing not to do is criticize his lifestyle\u2014at least at first. Beginning with moral commandments is often a non-starter for young people,&#8221; Vogt continued.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;This doesn\u2019t mean you should just watch silently and passively as your child makes bad decisions. Instead, it means your first approach should be marked by gentleness and patience, not criticism.&#8221;<\/p>\n<h2>How to get it<\/h2>\n<p>Visit\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/returngameplan.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">ReturnGameplan.com<\/a>\u00a0to take a look at the full program.<\/p>\n<p>However, you have to act today! The offer expires tonight. After tonight you won&#8217;t get the special price and bonuses.<\/p>\n<p>Check out this program and send the link to a friend who&#8217;s children have left the Church.\u00a0I&#8217;m sure you know someone who could benefit from these resources.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m positive these resources will give you\u00a0a game plan for combating\u00a0this vital problem.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;How do I get my kids to come back to the Church&#8230;&#8221; That&#8217;s the question I got again and again when I became a\u00a0parish DRE. News traveled fast that I came back to the Catholic Faith after abandoning it for 20 years. Older folks\u00a0would ask me what changed my mind and what they could do [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5538","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","post-wrapper","thrv_wrapper"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How to Lead Your Kids Back to the Church - Marc Cardaronella<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/marccardaronella.com\/blog\/2015\/11\/19\/lead-kids-back-to-church\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Lead Your Kids Back to the Church - Marc Cardaronella\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"&#8220;How do I get my kids to come back to the Church&#8230;&#8221; That&#8217;s the question I got again and again when I became a\u00a0parish DRE. 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