{"id":5883,"date":"2016-05-11T17:45:28","date_gmt":"2016-05-11T23:45:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/marccardaronella.com\/?p=5883"},"modified":"2020-09-10T16:42:24","modified_gmt":"2020-09-10T22:42:24","slug":"parents-essential-keeping-kids-catholic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marccardaronella.com\/blog\/2016\/05\/11\/parents-essential-keeping-kids-catholic\/","title":{"rendered":"4 Ways Parents Are Essential for Keeping Kids Catholic [Infographic]"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"4<\/a><\/p>\n

Parents, want to know\u00a0the secret to\u00a0keeping kids\u00a0Catholic?<\/p>\n

Get involved in their religious formation.<\/p>\n

This isn\u2019t a new idea. The Church has said it for decades.<\/p>\n

The Vatican II documents say parents are the \u201cfirst preachers of the faith\u201d to their children, and their influence is \u201cincapable of being entirely delegated to others or usurped\u00a0by others.\u201d Yet for the most part, parents don\u2019t know how to do faith formation and parishes don\u2019t help them.<\/p>\n

In my new book Keep Your Kids Catholic: Sharing Your Faith and Making it Stick<\/a><\/em>, I argue that parents are indispensable in the process of handing on faith to children. And, there\u2019s scientific research to prove it!<\/p>\n

From 2002 to 2005, sociologists Christian Smith and Melina Lundquist Denton, conducted a nationwide study of teen religious involvement. Their findings are reported in Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers<\/a><\/em>.<\/p>\n

Here are four ways, drawn from Smith and Denton\u2019s research, that parents prove essential and irreplaceable for keeping kids catholic.<\/p>\n

1. Keeping kids Catholic through influence<\/h2>\n

Near my house there was a billboard I saw every day. It was the image of a rear-view mirror and in it you could see the face of a sad little girl looking up at you from the backseat.<\/p>\n

The caption read something like, \u201cEven when you\u2019re not talking to her, you\u2019re teaching her. Calm down when you\u2019re behind the wheel.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ouch! That one used get me because I\u2019m not the calmest (or cleanest-mouthed) driver. It also got me thinking\u00a0about other\u00a0areas in my life where I wasn\u2019t\u00a0a good role model.<\/p>\n

Parents matter\u2026a lot! In fact, according to Smith and Denton, it\u2019s not a question of if you are influencing them but what kind of influence you are having. If you\u2019re not careful, it could be negative.<\/p>\n

So, lesson #1 for keeping kids Catholic is be a good role model.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor in the end,\u201d Smith and Denton explain, parents \u201cmost likely will get from teens what they\u00a0as adults themselves are.\u201d<\/p>\n

2. Keeping kids Catholic through relationship<\/h2>\n

Handing on faith effectively requires a strong relationship and deep level of trust. Otherwise, your efforts\u00a0fall on deaf ears.<\/p>\n

The rapport and intimacy you have with your children, poises you perfectly to teach them about life from a religious perspective. Think about that, you can affect them in ways no one else can.<\/p>\n

You speak to your kids about sports and movies, you advise them on school and careers, why not teach them about religion? My guess most parents would say because it\u2019s uncomfortable.<\/p>\n

I get that. The little voice in your head says you\u2019re too \u201cout of touch\u201d to reach your kids after a certain age, and it\u2019s\u00a0better to turn them over to the \u201cexperts\u201d at the parish. That little voice is wrong.<\/p>\n

\u201cParents,\u201d Smith and Denton write, \u201cneed . . .to develop more confidence in teaching youth about their faith traditions and expecting meaningful responses from them.\u201d They found that deep down kids are willing to be taught by parents\u2026even though they don\u2019t act like it.<\/p>\n

If you can extend your comfort zone, you have the potential to influence your kids in profound ways.<\/p>\n

3. Keeping Kids Catholic through articulation<\/h2>\n

Here\u2019s another interesting thing that surprised Smith and Denton, teens across the board had a hard time\u00a0articulating their faith. They easily discussed opinions on drinking, doing drugs, or avoiding STDs, but couldn\u2019t explain\u00a0their faith in God.<\/p>\n

I think it\u2019s because their parents talked to them at length about the consequences of a DUI or loss of virginity, but remained silent about the eternal consequences of a mortal sin or loss of faith?<\/p>\n

If you want your kids to have real faith, you have to discuss it with them. And, that doesn\u2019t mean just telling them \u201cdon\u2019t do this because it\u2019s wrong.\u201d Your parental relationship puts you in a unique position to do this.<\/p>\n

Articulating faith means internalizing it, owning it, and making it a part of you. That requires dialogue.<\/p>\n

Above all else the faith must be something personal, not abstract. They must reflect on how a topic affects them, in their lives, not just how it affects people in general.<\/p>\n

4. Keeping kids Catholic through religious practices<\/h2>\n

There\u2019s a direct correlation between increased faith and faith-related activities like daily prayer, Bible study, and charitable service. These religious practices act as faith catalysts, speeding up and propelling faith development to new levels.<\/p>\n

Smith and Denton observed this phenomena in religiously active teens saying, \u201cFaith for these teenagers is also activated, practiced, and formed through specific religious and spiritual practices.\u201d<\/p>\n

How do you get teens to do these religious practices? At some point, you have to make them.\u00a0That sounds harsh, but the reality is\u00a0you are responsible for forming your children in virtue.<\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t teach them the value of discipline, service, and time management by making them do hard things, they won\u2019t learn it.\u00a0Similarly, you have to schedule time for religious activities and build these habits into them.<\/p>\n

When they\u2019re young, you are the keeper of the schedule. If you wait until they\u2019re old enough to do it on their own, they won\u2019t.<\/p>\n

This essential aspect of religious formation, more than any other, is dependent on parents. The school or parish can\u2019t\u00a0do this for you. They may schedule the events, but you must get your kids there.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s time to turn\u00a0the tide<\/h2>\n

Most Catholic parents aren\u2019t interested in being a part of their children\u2019s faith formation. I understand. We\u2019re all busy and none of this is easy. However, our kids are leaving the Church once they leave the house, and at that point we\u2019re nearly powerless.<\/p>\n

The current religious education system is largely failing, but we\u2019re asking it to do too much. The most effective\u00a0aspects of faith formation need the involvement of parents.<\/p>\n

We can turn this around, but it\u2019s going to take a shift in thinking\u2013a partnership between parish and parents.<\/p>\n

When we parents take our\u00a0rightful place\u00a0in our children\u2019s\u00a0faith formation, by doing what only we\u00a0can do, we will be successful\u00a0in keeping our kids Catholic.<\/p>\n

Note: This article was originally posted on CatholicMom.com<\/a>.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\"5<\/a><\/p>\n

Infographic courtesy of Heather Glenn, Ave Maria Press.<\/p>\n

Image credit: Drew Hayes (2015) via Unsplash<\/a>, CC0<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Parents, want to know\u00a0the secret to\u00a0keeping kids\u00a0Catholic? Get involved in their religious formation. This isn\u2019t a new idea. The Church has said it for decades. The Vatican II documents say parents are the \u201cfirst preachers of the faith\u201d to their children, and their influence is \u201cincapable of being entirely delegated to others or usurped\u00a0by others.\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5885,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5883","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","post-wrapper","thrv_wrapper"],"yoast_head":"\n4 Ways Parents Are Essential for Keeping Kids Catholic [Infographic] - Marc Cardaronella<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Parents are indispensable for handing on faith to children. 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