Middle school is the worst time to confirm kids.
They’re hormonal, disagreeable, argumentative.
They’re also trying to figure out their own place in the world and transitioning from blindly accepting the faith of their parents to understanding what they themselves truly believe.
Which often means they’re unsure of what they believe and their faith is shaky.
But is teenage Confirmation propping up the current religious education system? And, if it wasn’t there, would childhood religious education collapse?
Confirmation: the carrot on the stick
Confirmation is the proverbial carrot on the religious education stick that draws kids and parents through the system. It seems Catholic parents are hardwired for one thing when it comes to their child’s spiritual upbringing–get the sacraments!
For a long time I’ve fought against this. Merely getting the sacraments is not a real goal. The goal should be conversion and spiritual transformation. Confirmation is a vehicle for that…not an end in itself.
Nevertheless, in Catholic culture today, Confirmation is a kind of like sacramental graduation. Once you’ve got it there’s no need for any more instruction in the Faith. You can go on about the rest of your life.
Restored order and the reduction of carrot inventories
Recently, I was participating in a Facebook forum about Confirmation when the topic turned to restored order and the age of Confirmation.
Restored order refers to giving kids Confirmation before their First Communion. This is actually the correct sequence for receiving the Sacraments of Initiation–Baptism, Confirmation, and Eucharist. That’s the way it’s done for adults at the Easter Vigil. It’s the way it’s always been done.
Confirmation is tied to Baptism. It’s a completion and increase of baptismal graces. The Eucharist is really the pinnacle of Christian initiation so it should be received last. It is the summit of the sacramental life, and union with God is the goal of Christianity…what everything tends toward.
So, there’s been a push in many dioceses to “restore” the order of Confirmation to what it, theologically, should be. The byproduct, of course, is that Confirmation would happen a lot earlier because the norm for celebrating First Communion is 2nd grade. No more carrots.
I’ve always been in favor of the restored order and younger ages for Confirmation.
The primary benefit is that children receive the graces of Confirmation much earlier. The hope is, if they have those graces working for them longer, they’ll be better prepared for their teenage years and won’t fall away.
Sherry’s bombshell
In the midst of the Confirmation discussion, Sherry Weddell brought this up:
Sherry Weddell On top of the theological issues, there is the real life burning issue which I’ve already had “confirmed” by local leaders. One of the consequences of our failure to evangelize our own is that children who are confirmed earlier, leave earlier. If we confirm them at 12 or 8, they are gone at 12 or 8. if we confirm them as infants, they will hang around only long enough to receive first communion and then they will be gone. The sad thing is: the earlier we give the the sacraments, the less chance we have to do any meaningful childhood catechesis. The rise of wide-spread infant confirmation will mean, at a practical level, the collapse of the entire child-oriented CCD/religious ed system. Which will leave us only one alternative: ad gentes-style, missionary evangelization of adults.
I had never considered these possibilities:
- If kids aren’t evangelized the effect of Confirmation will be negligible. With little or no faith, Confirmation won’t do much for them. They won’t be any closer to staying Catholic than before. There goes that benefit.
- If Confirmation happens earlier, will parents drop their kids out of religious education earlier?
It’s an interesting question to ask, if we have wide-spread restored order and kids get confirmed by 3rd grade, will that signal the collapse of significant childhood catechesis? Sherry seems to have evidence that this is happening in restored order dioceses.
Catechetical takeaway
I’m the last one to advocate for the carrot on the stick approach to Confirmation. I don’t like the implications.
However, with the culture the way it is, it might be the only option to keep the majority of kids in religious education.
Until things change that is. The challenge we have is to actively evangelize parents and children to reverse this trend. We need to change parent’s check in the box attitude toward their children’s faith development.
We need to convert our children while they’re young. We need to teach them that sacraments are transformative and give power to live well. They’re not just something you get because the time is right and they’re not graduation.
What do you think? Given these circumstances, is restored order a bad thing? Could it collapse the current religious education system? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
Image courtesy of Master isolated images / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
I’ve written about this before (as you well know) and while I’m in favor of restored order, the truth is I’m less concerned about when we confirm as I am that we confirm only when people are ready. Often left out of these discussions is any mention of discernment. If we take seriously the Church’s teaching that the RCIA is the inspiration for all catechesis, then we need to take seriously the RCIA’s admonition that there must be serious and intentional discernment before people take the next step of initiation into the Church. I see little to no discernment being done when it comes to Confirmation — which means we are confirming kids who are not evangelized and thus incapable of living out their Confirmation.
Put another way: confirm ’em at 8, confirm ’em at 18 — I don’t care. Let’s confirm ’em when they are ready.
I know of a parish in Minneapolis that has regular RE classes through middle school and high school that are separate from a Confirmation track. The kids just go to 7th and 8th grade RE and then to youth group and no one grade is just about Confirmation prep. But in that age range, when the kids are deemed ready (I guess by the parents) they can enter into a Confirmation prep program. There’s self-study and classroom lessons in the program. Kids get confirmed at different ages. I suspect, some kids don’t get confirmed. It’s a very interesting model. And, it works because there’s a culture at that parish of committed faith growth that makes it work.
We have a parish like that in our diocese, except they let parents bring forth their kids as young as 3rd grade. IIRC Confirmation prep is almost all home-based; they give materials to the parents and help them to prepare the children, regardless of age. (This parish has a very strong home-based RE option.)
From a practical standpoint, I think Sherry is right. I’m intrigued by the idea of ad gentes style evangelization of adults, though. I think our New Evangelization could use a little help from the ad gentes evangelist.
I see your point too Jonathan, but when will they ever really be ready? I once told a parent that she should not force her daughter, a former student of mine, to be confirmed. The problem is, years later she has still never received the grace of the sacrament. I regret that.
I could see setting up some criteria or signs of readiness that you use to judge when they could be confirmed. Kind of like the signs to judge RCIA candidate’s readiness to participate in the Rite of Acceptance. You can usually tell when someone’s converted. They just do certain things. Although, that may be more difficult with teens.
Marc, I think you are right that the RCIA criteria for readiness could be fruitfully applied to a discernment process for those preparing for confirmation. However, I would use the criteria for readiness to participate in the Rite of Acceptance as criteria for *entering* the preparation process for confirmation (which would work well in a parish such as the one in Minneapolis that you described.) A summary of those criteria can be found in the RCIA, paragraph 42.
I would use the criteria for readiness to participate in the Rite of Election as the basis for a discernment process for celebrating the sacrament of confirmation. See RCIA 120 (which, in turn, is based on RCIA 75) for a summary.
Note that in both cases, the discernment is based on visible changes in lifestyle. The “evidence” should be clear to anyone in the parish. Gut feelings play a role in discernment, but the criteria are not arbitrary.
Nice catch Nick. That does make more sense and fits better. Rite of Acceptance criteria would definitely work well for an entering a program like the one I mentioned in Minneapolis. And Rite of Election would work better for the actual Confirmation discernment. Thanks for sharing!
That was me in high school — I opted out of Confirmation (even though I went through all the prep) because I knew I didn’t “get it.” I did eventually receive the sacrament in college.
I wonder if restored order wouldn’t help us get away from the mentality that Confirmation is the “kid’s choice.” We don’t ask infants if they want to be baptized, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a parent making First Communion optional. Why do we do that with Confirmation?
(Also, the Sower Review has a good article on restored order in the latest issue; I recommend it to anyone interested in the subject.)
If kids are *forced* to be confirmed against their wishes, there are obvious consequences. This is really wrong and should never happen. It’s a basic violation of the child’s autonomy. And it will not usually produce an adult Catholic for obvious reasons.
When to confirm gets a lot of discussion, and I don’t have an eccelesial sense of when to do it. But as far as life in the classroom goes, I’d rather have infant confirmation. Then the parents who don’t raise their kids in the faith won’t be dumping their callow brats into my classroom to disrupt the learning of the kids who actually want to learn about God.
Ha! Is that because only the committed families and kids would continue to go?
That is my impression over the last 10 years. It dearly costs the kids who want to learn to have a disruptor in their midst. My sympathies lie with the many good kids.
All the non-Catholic churches already deal with Sunday School attendance and don’t have a Sacramental carrot. One thing they all emphasize (and I try to do the same in my classroom) is to make God so interesting that the kids want to come to class and thus provide an extra boost for the parents to bring them. Another incentive is that the parents are often in Sunday School at the same time as the kids. For the adults, SS isn’t just for education, but has long-term social aspects as well. Maybe if we Catholics aimed at getting the parents, they’d bring the kids of their own accord.
Now that I think about it, the way Knights of Columbus works is not unlike the way Adult Sunday School works at the local Baptist churches: we recruit, mentor, retain, assign (but also spread out) responsibilities, get fired up, become friends, have a sense of group identity and accomplishment. Actually my wife and I taught an Adult class for a couple of years that functioned like that, so I know it can be done in a Catholic context.
This guy has a useful blog about getting Sunday School to flourish, which I think dovetails well with the thrust of Sherry’s book:
http://web.kybaptist.org/kbc/blogs/ssrb.nsf/dx/about.htm
The Catholic laity is alive right now with the energy to change what doesn’t work well into what does work well. I think it’s a matter of faith to punt what isn’t working in order to figure out what does.
Someone else brought up the protestant Sunday School model with regards to this. There’s no carrot and they continue to go. There’s a culture of continuing education and a real sense of the fact that you’ll never come to the end of it. And, there’s no set time, like 8th grade, when all the kids are expected to make an altar call or profess faith. It happens when they’re ready and the Holy Spirit moves them. But there are some that never do it though. They grow up in those churches without ever having professed faith or been baptized. I guess we’d have to be comfortable with some kids not getting confirmed if we used a discernment model. I’m not sure about that one. I didn’t have faith when I was confirmed but it was there waiting and it kicked in later when I did convert. That’s the thing, you know? If we let them slip by they probably won’t come back to it. Although, some do. I see them in my RCIA program. They want to complete that sacrament.
All I can do is witness.
I was one of those brats. Parents made sure we had CCD and received Sacraments. Only time I heard Jesus’ name in my house was when dad was swearing it – and he was the parent who wanted to go to Mass.
Mom, who was doing her duty, appealed to me, out of respect for my father, to go through with my Confirmation. Although I was angry with Dad, angry with God, disgusted with church… Out of respect for the Father, I followed through. And, I know God’s grace shined upon me because of it.
I’ve never forgotten that moment in that Church…when something Holy came and touched me…but it took me years to remember. I finally came to understand that what scared the heck out of me 4-5 years after Confirmation was the Fruit of the Holy Spirit. I was searching, asking, knocking and He answered – thought I was crazy…so did my family! Catholic friends were telling me I was a Born-Again Christian. What? Although I was ignorant, I knew deep down that there was something more to it…finally I came Home! And I am still learning.
Confirm early? Later? When ready? I don’t know that answer (trust it all worked the way God intended for me), but I do believe Marc is on point:
1. “We have is to actively evangelize parents and children.”
2. “We need to convert our children while they’re young. We need to teach them that sacraments are transformative and give power to live well.” THEY WILL NEED THAT ROCK to hold on to, if they leave…
My heart goes out to Mr. Christian – your cross as teacher is a heavy one. Please take heart as you endure the burden; you may not see any fruit now, but with God all is possible. Years ago I stopped by my 7th grade CCD teacher’s home to thank her for putting up with me; for teaching us. Although I was hard as a rock, she helped to plant those seeds. I am forever grateful for her service and patience – tolerance. Peace be with you. You and your students will be in my prayers.
God’s grace and wisdom be with you all. You have quite the job. Godspeed!
Wow! That is an amazing witness Janine! You really had an experience of God when you were confirmed? That must’ve been a shock! That is so awesome! I’ve never heard of that happening but I’ve always thought it should be happening more. It seems like it should be happening more. Thanks for sharing that.
And that’s the mystery…
It wasn’t a shock – then – it was a whisper, so subtle, like a veil had been drawn. I’ll never forget returning to the pew; I looked about me in a state of silent awe…without seeing, I saw Grace. There was peace.
And then Mass was over…and life went on…as usual. Except for one thing – the anger. Did it disappear that night? or with a little time? I don’t know; I do know by the time I entered high-school the rebellious rage was gone; my peaceful countenance had returned (Praise God.)
But as far as Church was concerned, given a little more time, there was no more Mass. I was done (or so I thought). The memory of that Holy moment became buried within the recesses of my heart and mind…until He was ready to awaken me. The Shock!
Praying that the Holy Spirit will lead the way. 🙂 Peace!
Wow, indeed. I had no sense of anything happening at Confirmation until 20 or so years later.
Marc, thanks for this article. You raise important points and have launched a good discusssion. I am interested to learn more about the parish in Minneapolis that allows the students and their parents to discern readiness. Seems like choosing with guidance is a key to following with integrity and intention.
Hi Suzanne! Thanks for commenting!
The parish in Minneapolis is The Church of St. Paul. It’s actually in a suburb called Ham Lake. It’s the parish where Jeff Cavins belongs. In the original Bible Timeline videos you see him talking in front of a big stone wall. That’s the altar at Church of St. Paul.
I don’t know too much about the program other than what I told said before. I’ve never investigated it much further. I’m in a different place in my ministry now though so I might do that. One of the things that fascinates me about this program is that much of the Confirmation prep is self study. They’re doing the regular religious ed and then they enter the Confirmation prep module. They get stuff to study and do on their own and then meet for a few classes as well. I don’t know what the classes entail. I’ve worked with this parish in using their model for family catechesis so I’ve always been more in contact with them for that. If you contact them and find out more, let me know!
Ultimately each adult is responsible for his own faith formation; nothing wrong with saying it out loud!
I would like to point out one thing that I never hear in these discussions. The same families that drop out after Confirmation are the same ones who used to drop from baptism until First Reconciliation and First Communion. Then they drop again until it’s time for Confirmation. In reality, we’re not losing any more kids than we did before.
Someone already mentioned the article in the recent issue of The Sower and I would second that suggestion. The article makes the point that in third grade at least they’re open to the graces and are in a state of grace to properly receive the sacrament.
Having grown up evangelical Mennonite, I can assure you that weekly Sunday School attendance is a matter of parents saying, “We’re going,” not because the kids necessarily want to go. The Church has it right: Parents are the first and primary educators. If it doesn’t matter to Dad & Mom, it won’t matter to the kids. That holds true Catholic or Protestant.
That’s a good point. You’re right, those are the same families that are dropping in and dropping out again. I think what I’m looking for is a way to keep them in and not drop out at all. Of course, so much depends on the parents at 3rd grade. The child might have a heart and a desire for God but if the parents don’t nourish that it will never grow.
For me, the very idea that at 3rd grade the kids are more receptive to grace and the Holy Spirit is what keeps me coming back to restored order Confirmation. There’s a much higher chance of those graces really touching a 3rd grader than the typical 8th grader. But again, it comes down to nurturing and what happens in the home in the intervening years. It’s unlikely that a 3rd grade conversion could carry a child all the way through teenage years into adulthood…but it’s possible. At least, on some small level that conversion could stick.
The thing is that if you confirm someone and they have no idea who Jesus is on a personal level, they may go along with it, but it’s a ritual. The reasons Protestants have better luck are simple:
a) They take into consideration the psychology of children and take the pressure OFF. They evangelize adults. This changes the focus for both children & adults. The children don’t say “I have to do this to make daddy happy.” They say “I want to grow up like daddy and he’s a Christian and knows God, so I want to know God too.”
b) They give children age-appropriate Bible lessons and let them come to know God on a personal basis. That’s the emphasis. Each child has his own little bible, set up for a child. The Protestant bookstores are full of them, and they sell a lot of them. So that when mommy turns to a passage in scripture, daughter can. She learns. It’s like playing house to a 5 year old little girl. And then she meets God and it gets real, and she knows where to look in her bible to know about it.
THAT’S THE DIFFERENCE!
In the Eastern Rite, babies are baptized, confirmed, and receive a drop of the Precious Blood; all three rites of initiation are kept together. Obviously, those babies know nothing about Jesus, so they didn’t request baptism, etc.. Parents do this for their children because that’s what is needed for Heaven and to become part of God’s family. Teaching them about Jesus is supposed to be natural part of family life and conversion is a life-long process. Personally, I think all of this within the Latin Rite would be resolved if we did as the Eastern rites do. (The children do not continue receiving Communion after that, but have a Second Communion at the age of 7 or so.)
I would object to your opinion that Protestants do not evangelize children–they do more so than they do adults, particularly ministires such as Child Evangelism Fellowship and any kind of foreign missions. Yes, they do evangelize adults, but not nearly on the scale as the children. (Partially because of the number of parents who drop of kids at Sunday School, AWANA, etc. for “babysitting.”)
And I would strongly disagree that they take the pressure OFF of the kids–not where I came from and not anyone I know either. There was always the push to “accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior” (a concept not found anywhere in Scripture). In fact, those of us who were lifetime church kids got sick of hearing it again and again at virtually every youth function. There is also a lot of pressure to have a “testimony” and to be able to point to that time when you accepted Christ. This is of utmost importance within evangelical Protestatism.
One thing you’ve hit right on the head is the aspect of discipleship that committed Protestant parents have with their children: Leading their children to the Scriptures and to the Lord through their own example and conscious teaching. However, I know of many devout Catholic parents who do the same, particulary among our homeschooling friends. I don’t think a person can say one or the other has the upper hand here-it’s matter of parents who love the Lord and desire to follow Him who are passing it on to their children. Unfortunately, we’re not seeing that kind of committment nor interest in many American parents on many fronts, religion least of all. My evangelical Protestant friends are also bemoaning the exodus of kids from their churches or the “pew-warming” attitude and level of commitment many of them display.
From what I have observed in 33 years as a Protestant and 11 years as a Catholic with the past two years as the Director of Catechesis in my parish, it all comes down to the parents. The Church can assist and do what can be done, but the responsibility rests on the parents. It’s the rare child from either side of Christendom to faithfully follows Christ if the parents don’t.
Tracy, that’s what it always seems to come down to doesn’t it…the parents. You saying that, with all your experience, really brings home the point. I know it’s true that kids are leaving Christianity from both the Protestant side as well as the Catholic. I love this idea of discipling parents. What a great way to put it.
Great point! The example of the parent’s conversion for drawing a more committed and mature relationship from the children can not be overestimated.
Another great point regarding the power of emphasizing personal relationship. And, there’s a bit of the parent’s witness built into that as well. The fact that we’re just educating our Catholic children in facts and not relationship is definitely a factor that’s weighing us down.
Marc, some people are going to drop out. You can’t stop that from happening and keep the meaning of confirmation–which is an election–intact. It’s a contradiction. This is the hardest thing to explain to Catholics.
What do you mean by Confirmation being an “election?”
I’ve always considered confirmation a pledge, one I was not willing to take. And so I refused confirmation at the age of 14. Much pressure was brought to bear for the sake of my family reputation which made the taking of confirmation all the more farcical. Would they prefer I manufacture a lie to commit myself to something I don’t believe in? Another approach was “waiting a year or two”. Maybe then my doubts would be replaced by committed faith. Well almost four years have passed and my objections to the Catholic Church and to Christianity in general has only strengthened. I have come to realize I am not now nor have I ever been a Catholic. Even at age 7 something didn’t seem right about all the doctrines and dogma. It sounded too contrived and made up. Sure I went along for the ride but it’s what you to do when you have no say in the matter. But I was indifferent and distant during all religious instruction (which I now see as indoctrination) and I felt dishonest and unclean being an participant. Well it didn’t take long to realize I didn’t belong to this flock and the road ahead lead to a skeptical atheist position . With the help of an organization that assists young atheists in their “coming out” process, I no longer have to pretend. My integrity now intact I felt honest and free. And there is no better feeling than that.